


Expanding the Agency

by doctorhelena



Category: Agent Carter (Marvel Short Film), Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Pregnancy, Steggy Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-13 15:21:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9130282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctorhelena/pseuds/doctorhelena
Summary: Peggy’s appointment as Director of SHIELD runs into an unexpected obstacle.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was written as a gift for [faynia](http://faynia.tumblr.com/) as part of the Steggy Secret Santa exchange on Tumblr (where I am [doctorhelena](http://doctorhelena.tumblr.com/) if you care to follow me!)
> 
> My headcanon for this universe is that Steve was rescued almost immediately, but spent longer in Europe with the Howling Commandos than Peggy did, returning shortly after Season 2 of Agent Carter (which happened just as it did in the show, but without Peggy’s romantic subplot).

Peggy excused herself briefly from Howard’s office and returned to find that the top secret meeting she’d been attending had somehow turned into an impromptu Christmas party, everybody clustered cheerfully around a tray of drinks and snacks. To be fair, Howard’s office was big enough that the seating area at one end was larger and more well-appointed than her living room, complete with a fireplace and a beautifully decorated Christmas tree. And spontaneous parties did seem to break out quite often when Howard was around.

It had been snowing heavily all day and, despite how close it was to Christmas, nobody had argued too hard when Howard had insisted they all stay to dinner. It looked a little like they might all be staying the night too, given the storm outside. Normally, she might not have minded - she enjoyed the company, and it wasn’t often that she, Steve, Dugan, Howard, and Phillips were all in the same room these days. But staying the night tonight would be… awkward.

Well, nothing to be done about it now. She sat down in the empty space on the couch between Steve and Dugan and took the drink Howard handed her. “I see that formalities are done for the day,” she said, setting the glass down on the coffee table and stretching her shoulders.

“I don’t know, Carter,” said Colonel Phillips from the corner armchair he’d commandeered. “Sometimes you have to wine and dine people when you’re trying to set up something big like this. Politics.”

“Excellent point,” Peggy said, reaching for the plate of cheese and crackers and snagging a handful of each. “Although, as nobody in this room is a politician, I’m not entirely sure your theory holds in this case.” She leaned back against Steve, who slid his arm around her shoulders and pulled her a little closer.

Peggy flushed slightly. After all the years of covering up their relationship, she still felt odd being physically affectionate with Steve so openly in front of Phillips. He seemed to sense it, because he grinned at her. “Relax, Carter, we’re off duty. And if you’re still trying to hide the fact that you and Rogers are an item, you probably shouldn’t have invited me to the wedding.”

“Amateur move,” nodded Howard, refreshing everyone’s drinks. “Although,” he added, winking at Peggy, “I have to say these two were never very good at hiding the fact that they were gaga over each other.”

Phillips rolled his eyes. “You can say that again. I nearly got permanent eye strain from turning a blind eye so often.” He shook his head. “The way you two looked at each other. And that compass! Still don’t know what you were thinking there, Rogers, but it was almost worth it for the look on Carter’s face when it showed up on that newsreel.”

Dugan grinned. “Try being out on patrol with them,” he said through a mouthful of puff pastry. “They were way more obvious away from base. Kind of disgusting, really.”

Peggy popped a piece of cheese into her mouth, mostly to cover the fact that she was blushing. “To be fair,” she said, “we weren’t actually trying to hide our relationship from the Commandos.” She sighed. “At least none of you are under the popular impression that I slept my way to the top.”

“I think if anyone, it’s Rogers who’s doing that, _Director_ Carter,” said Howard, raising his glass to her and grinning.

Steve squeezed Peggy’s shoulders. “Well, I’ve done a few things on my own,” he said. “If it wasn’t for Peggy, though, I might still be on the stage, punching Hitler twice a day.”

“If it wasn’t for Carter smuggling Erskine out of Germany, you’d still weigh 90 pounds,” countered Phillips. “The chorus girls would be lifting _you_ up on their shoulders.”

Dugan snorted and leaned across Peggy to snag another puff pastry. She could smell the bourbon on his breath, and although she normally quite liked bourbon, she swallowed hard as her stomach twisted without warning.

“Excuse me,” she said, extracting herself from under Steve’s arm and moving as unhurriedly as possible towards the office door. Slipping into the washroom off the hallway just outside, she shut the door, opened both taps, leaned over the toilet, and regurgitated her cheese and crackers as quietly as she could.

She was fairly certain she was pregnant.

Her doctor had agreed, given her list of symptoms and her newlywed status. The results of the test on the urine she had provided yesterday afternoon should be ready by now, although the doctor’s office would not be calling until the end of the workday.

She felt suspended in time, with the sword of Damocles hanging over her head.

In stolen moments during the war she and Steve had talked quite a lot about the family they both wanted one day, and she still wanted it. One day. But she also wanted very badly to dive into the new agency that Howard and Phillips were starting up to replace the SSR. They were pushing hard for her to be director, and her appointment had all but been confirmed, or it had been. Now she wasn’t sure what to expect. Other than a baby, apparently.

She examined herself in the mirror and wished she’d fled the room holding her pocketbook rather than the handful of cheese she was holding instead. She rinsed out her mouth and pinched some colour back into her cheeks, and then tentatively took a bite of cheese. It seemed to settle her stomach a little, so she ate the rest of the piece, sighing inwardly. It was only going to get stranger from here, she supposed.

Walking back into the office, she could tell that Steve had heard her being sick, although nobody else seemed to have noticed anything. She dropped back onto the couch beside him and squeezed his knee reassuringly. “Pass the crackers,” she said, and he snagged her a handful.

Phillips and Howard were deep into a discussion about how to corral the last few senators necessary to secure the funding for the new agency, while Dugan was teasing Steve about the name Howard had proposed. “Face it, Cap, not everybody gets a whole spy agency named after them. You’ve really hit the big time now.”

Steve shrugged, although Peggy knew he thought the name was ridiculous. “Howard was the one who made my shield. He’s probably just naming it after himself.”

“It’s not a bad name,” said Peggy. “We intend to shield the world from a great many threats they will hopefully know nothing about.” She smiled suddenly. “And you should have seen some of his rejected ideas.”

“I did,” admitted Dugan, with a grin. He shook his head and took another drink. “Might be one of the top scientific minds of our generation, but boy is he bad at naming things.” He tilted his head and looked towards the door, and Peggy followed his gaze.

Edwin Jarvis was walking towards the assembled guests with a smile, and Peggy’s stomach twisted again. Aside from being inconveniently timed, her pregnancy felt like a slap in the face to the Jarvises. The pain from their sudden loss of fertility was still fresh, and it had been her fault. She, of all people, should not get to have what had been stolen from them.

But, she told herself firmly, she had to stop wallowing and focus on the situation at hand. Wallowing might come very easily to her these days, but she was an old hand at maintaining a stiff upper lip. She would tell them when she knew for sure. No point in borrowing trouble.

“Conditions have become rather treacherous,” Jarvis said, cheerfully oblivious. “Ana and I have taken the liberty of preparing bedrooms for all of you, should you care to stay the night.”

Phillips and Dugan were nodding. They were both in from out of town anyway, so it was this or their hotel. Steve looked at Peggy. She sighed. “I’d rather go home,” she said, “but I realize that would be rather foolish.” He squeezed her knee.

“Don’t worry,” said Howard, breezily. “My bedrooms are all equipped with the latest in soundproofing, if that’s what’s bothering you.” He shook his head. “Newlyweds.”

“That’s not all your bedrooms are equipped with,” Peggy muttered, half under her breath. She turned to Dugan.“Do _not_ open the closet, unless you want to learn far more about Howard than you ever wanted to know.” Howard winked at her. She suddenly felt utterly exhausted.

“At any rate,” said Jarvis, determinedly ignoring the side conversation, “As there is some time before dinner will be ready, you may wish to retire to your rooms to refresh yourselves.”

“Thank you, Mr. Jarvis, I think I will,” said Peggy, stuffing a napkinful of cheese and crackers into her pocketbook and then standing to leave. Steve stood with her.

“Have fun, kids!” called Howard cheerfully after them. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

“That doesn’t really narrow it down much,” Dugan began thoughtfully as she and Steve followed Jarvis through the doorway.

“I apologize,” said Jarvis once they were out of the room, a hint of a sigh in his tone. “Mr. Stark –”

“That’s quite all right, Mr. Jarvis,” replied Peggy. “In no way do we hold you responsible for Howard’s behavior.”

Jarvis did sigh this time. “I only wish the rest of Mr. Stark’s female associates would share your sentiment.” He rubbed his cheek almost reflexively and began to lead the way down the corridor.

“Besides,” said Steve quietly into Peggy’s ear after a moment, “I’ll never turn down a soundproof room if we’re alone in it together.” He kissed her neck just behind the earlobe, and the shiver of desire that ran down her spine fought valiantly with her general emotional upset and her desperate need for a nap. She reached back to entwine her fingers with his, but entirely misjudged his position, so that she briefly closed her fingers around a completely different part of his anatomy.

“Peggy!” he hissed, shocked, and then snorted as she quickly moved her hand away as if burnt. “Save it for the soundproof room!” he murmured, and she giggled, despite herself. Well, Phillips _had_ told them there was no need to hide their relationship, although she didn’t think this was precisely what he’d had in mind.

“I don’t want to know what’s so funny, do I?” asked Jarvis. He paused at what Peggy assumed was the door to their room. “Please don’t answer that. Ah, here we are.” He looked a little relieved as he opened the door and ushered them inside, briefly showing them around before retreating with a promise to inform them when dinner was ready.

Once the door closed behind him, Steve turned to Peggy, laughter still in his eyes. “Well, you seem frisky for someone who just heaved up her lunch.”

She shook her head, still smiling as she took the napkin of cheese and crackers out of her pocketbook and set it on the bedside table. “Well, you’re rather hard to resist, Rogers.” She slid her arms around him, leaning up on tiptoe to kiss him, then yawned enormously.

Steve kissed the top of her head. “You should take a nap. I’ve learned my lesson about getting between you and sleep lately.” He seemed more amused than frustrated, although his body had responded rather quickly when she’d grabbed him in the… corridor.

She dropped her forehead to his chest, feeling momentarily frustrated enough for both of them. “I’m sorry about last night. I would have made it up to you this morning, but well…”

“It’s fine,” he said. “I’d be a real cad if I complained about you falling asleep on me, considering the reason.” He grinned suddenly. “And don’t worry about this morning. I know it’s hard to believe, but you’re actually not very sexy with your head over the toilet.”

She sighed. “Well, it seems to be my new hobby, unfortunately.” She wrinkled her forehead. “Mr. Jarvis said I needed one, but I don’t think this was quite what he had in mind.”

“It’s all right,” Steve said again, releasing her so she could take off her jacket. “This whole thing is a lot worse for you than it is for me.” For a moment she could see his helpless frustration. “I just wish it was the type of problem I could throw my shield at.”

“I would quite like to brawl with this whole situation,” she admitted. “Punching something would make me feel a lot better.” She handed him her trousers, and started to unbutton her blouse.

He shrugged. “I don’t think picking a fight in a bar would be a good idea, but I don’t really see why you couldn’t beat up a punching bag at the gym.”

She considered that as she hung her blouse over the same chair that held the rest of her pantsuit. “The doctor said I should take it easy.”

Steve grinned. “A punching bag _would_ be taking it easy for you.” He ran a finger over the strap of her brassiere, down her bare arm. “I don't think you should do anything that would hurt the baby, of course. But I remember Mrs. Barnes hauling a squirming thirty pound toddler around on her hip pretty much right up until she gave birth to Bucky’s youngest sister. And a couple of the girls in the USO show danced until they couldn’t fit into their uniforms anymore. Their babies all turned out fine.”

“How do you know?” she asked, pausing in the act of drawing back the covers on her side of the bed.

He shrugged. “We send each other Christmas cards.” He grinned. “Please don’t shoot me. I promise I didn’t kiss any of them.”

“I didn’t shoot you. I was testing your shield,” she muttered as she slid under the covers.

“I love you, Peggy.”

“I love you too,” she mumbled into the pillow, then angrily rolled onto her side. The fact that she couldn’t lie on her stomach because her breasts hurt made her unaccountably furious, but not furious enough to stop her from falling asleep almost immediately thereafter.

***

Waking up had become a terrible challenge lately. Peggy swam out of a deep sleep, struggling to open her eyes as Steve squeezed her on the shoulder. “Jarvis knocked. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.”

She was starving and her head was full of cotton wool. “I need to eat something now,” she mumbled, and Steve put a cube of cheese into her hand. For once her stomach felt relatively calm, but she knew from recent experience that would change quickly if she let herself get too hungry.

“What time is it?” she asked, suddenly awake, swallowing her mouthful of cheese.

“Seven o’clock,” he said. “You slept for a couple of hours.”

She sat up. “Bloody hell, I forgot to call the doctor’s office.”

“I called them while you were asleep,” Steve said, indicating the telephone on the side table. Howard had one in every room, of course. “Your test results are in.”

Peggy blinked. “And?” Her heart was pounding suddenly and she wasn’t sure she was ready to know.

Steve tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “The frog laid eggs. There’s a baby in there, Peg.” He gently skimmed his fingertips over her belly, elated wonder crossing his face before he shot a concerned look in her direction.

She couldn’t breathe. As it turned out, being fairly certain and being completely certain were two entirely different things. This was real. It was really happening.

Steve took a step out of the path between the bed and the bathroom, but she shook her head. “I’m not going to be sick. I’m just…” she blinked tears out of her eyes. “I _am_ happy about the baby. But – I don't understand my own body anymore. I can’t stay awake. I’m sick to my stomach all the time. My emotions have gone haywire.” She sniffed. “I don’t know how I’m going to face the Jarvises. And when Phillips finds out, I don’t know if… if...”

He gathered her up in his arms and rubbed her back as she sobbed into his shoulder. “I don’t know if the timing will ever be _good_ , exactly,” he said after a while. “But –”

“We need to get ready for dinner,” she interrupted him, sniffing. “I know I’m a terrible mess, but it would help if I didn’t _look_ it.”

He frowned at her, but didn’t say anything as she shuffled to the bathroom, still in her underwear, to repair the damage to her appearance.

***

They were fifteen minutes late to dinner, and slid into their seats to much general teasing. At least it was a plausible explanation for her messy hair and flushed cheeks, Peggy told herself, even if the reality hadn’t been nearly so fun.

She allowed herself a fleeting glance at her belly as she carefully placed her napkin on her lap. It was hard to truly believe the start of their family was growing in there somewhere, although she assumed she’d manage to wrap her mind around it at some point before the baby was actually born. Right now it still seemed very theoretical.

“Help yourselves,” said Howard, gesturing at the dishes on the table. “We started without you. And you’ve probably worked up quite an appetite.” Peggy frowned at him and he grinned unrepentantly.

As was generally the case lately, Peggy was starving but nothing looked appetizing. Steve passed her the mashed potatoes and she served herself a small amount, then took a tentative bite.

“We heard from Senator Jamison while you two were, ah, resting,” said Phillips, helping himself to more pot roast. “He’s in, so now we just need Senator Peterson and we’re cleared to pull the trigger on this.”

“And Peg, it’s still looking good for your appointment as Director,” said Howard, swallowing a mouthful of green beans. “Jamison’s impressed by your resume, so even if Peterson objects, we still have the majority in favour, unless he makes it a deal breaker for his support. And even if that happens, I think we can talk him around.”

Peggy indicated her mouthful of mashed potatoes as an excuse not to speak.

“That’s great!” said Steve, squeezing her knee under the table. “Do you think you’ll be able to get Peterson before Christmas?”

Phillips shrugged. “That’s the plan. We bug him enough, he signs off on it just to get us out of his hair. Then we hit the ground running. Hope you’re ready for some long hours. Enjoy your pre-dinner marriage retreats while you can.”

Dugan snorted. “You think long hours and very little privacy is something that will stop these two? Here’s a tip. Don’t walk into Peggy’s office without knocking.”

Peggy decided discretion was the better part of valour, and busied herself with taking another helping of mashed potatoes.

“Come on,” said Steve, “We were never _that_ bad.”

“No,” conceded Dugan, “but you were mostly trying to keep things under the radar back then. Now, all bets are off.”

Howard grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. “Watch out, you’ll be turning into me, Rogers.”

“Good Lord,” said Peggy. “Steve is nothing like you, Howard, something for which I am eternally grateful.” She turned to Phillips, “And sir, I hope you realize that both Steve and I are always professional when we’re on duty.”

Phillips snorted. “I’ll buy that you keep your hands to yourselves, but the two of you are the most unprofessional pair of rule breakers I ever had the misfortune to be saddled with. Fortunately, you’ve got a good instinct for exactly which rules to break, although don’t think I don’t regularly look in the mirror and wonder what exactly I’m putting myself in for by appointing you Director, Carter.”

Dugan guffawed. “He’s got you there, Peg!”

She kicked him under the table and helped herself to more potatoes.

Before Jarvis cleared away the main course, she took a tiny piece of pot roast, which she chased around her plate with her fork for a few minutes before giving up and going back to the potatoes. Now that her stomach was nearly full, she was fighting drowsiness again. This was ridiculous. She was worse than a kitten.

And now she had to talk to the Jarvises.

She caught them in the corridor outside the kitchen, while everyone was making their way to the living room. “Can I speak with you for a moment?” she asked, her voice much less steady than she had hoped.

“Of course,” said Ana, leading the way into the kitchen and setting down the tray of dishes she’d been carrying. She gently touched Peggy’s shoulder. “Is something wrong?” Tears welled up unbidden in Peggy’s eyes, and Ana and Jarvis shot each other a quick look before leaping into action like mother hens.

“Sit down,” said Ana, gently sliding an arm around her shoulders and steering her to a chair at the small kitchen table where she and Jarvis generally ate. “Now talk.”

“I’ll make tea,” said Jarvis, standing up, but Peggy held out a hand to stop him.

“No, I -” she faltered. “I need to talk to both of you.” She took a deep breath. “I’m - I’m - Steve and I - we’re expecting a baby.” She closed her eyes for a moment at the brief flash of pain she saw in Jarvis’s eyes. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “It should have been you. And it’s my fault that it isn’t.”

She felt Ana’s hand on her shoulder again, and she opened her eyes. “Peggy, don’t be sorry!” she said, and her husband was nodding earnestly. “What happened to me was not your fault, and what was taken from us was merely the possibility. Who knows if we ever would have gotten around to actually having a baby. We are quite content with our life together already.”

Jarvis laid his hand over Ana’s. “I won’t deny that it hurts a little whenever I hear about a couple starting a family,” he admitted quietly. But then he drew himself up and looked her in the eye. “But, neither Ana nor I would ever want you to feel guilty about having a child of your own. In fact, I fully expect to be Uncle Edwin. Any child of yours will require a great deal of supervision.”

Ana grinned. “The child will be dragging him off on adventures by the age of two.” She gave Peggy a sudden hug. “I didn’t say congratulations!” she exclaimed.

Jarvis hugged her too, and she sniffled a little into his shirt, but emerged with her tears under control. “Of course you two will be important in our child’s life,” she said, a little shakily, “as long as you want to be.”

“Of course we do,” said Ana, getting her a cloth from the sink and handing her a small mirror from her pocket. “You and Steve are family to us, Peggy. And your child will be as well.”

Peggy regarded herself in the mirror, dabbing at the remains of her eye makeup. “Have you told the others?” Ana asked, watching her carefully.

Peggy shook her head. “No, we just found out for certain today. I owed it to you two to tell you right away, but I…” her voice shook again. “I don’t know what’s going to happen when Howard and Phillips find out. The timing is rather dreadful.”

Ana hugged her again, and Jarvis did go to make tea this time. “Don’t bother with tea for me, Mr. Jarvis,” Peggy called to him. She sighed.“It’s one of the many things I seem to have completely lost my taste for.”

“Good Lord!” said Jarvis, looking mildly horrified. He collected himself and came back to sit in the chair next to her. “I hope you realize that Phillips would be a fool to change his mind just because of this. And I am quite certain the man is not a fool.”

Peggy smiled. “Still keeping up your security clearance, I see, Mr. Jarvis.”

His lips twitched slightly. “One hears things.”

Peggy smiled again. “They’re going to wonder where I am. Do I look like I’ve been crying?”

Ana made a few quick adjustments and pronounced Peggy presentable. “I’ll walk you in there. I’ll bring the coffee.”

Peggy swallowed. “That might be a bad idea. Can you keep downwind of me?”

“I’ll try,” said Ana, looking sympathetic.

******

Everyone was lounging, relaxed, in the living room when Peggy and Ana arrived, Peggy trying very hard not to breathe through her nose as Ana tried to hold the tray of coffee as far away from her as possible. Given the astonishing sense of smell Peggy had recently developed, it wasn't helping much, but she had managed not to be sick, which she counted as an accomplishment. She made a beeline for Steve at the other end of the room, and Ana set the coffee down at the near end of the coffee table.

“Ah, the ladies have arrived,” said Dugan, tipping his hat to Ana. “Nice to see you, Mrs. Jarvis.”

Ana dimpled. “Nice to see you too, Mr. Dugan. I hope you’re enjoying your Christmas season.”

“So far, so good,” he gestured, indicating the beautifully decorated living room. “I just have to arrange to be snowed in here for a week or so, and I’ve got it made. How was your Hanukkah?”

She smiled. “Very nice, thank you. Now if you’ll excuse me, Mr. Jarvis needs my help with the dishes.” She nodded to everyone, waved to Peggy, and left the room.

Peggy leaned against Steve, who had wisely not taken a cup of coffee. Her stomach seemed on its way to settling, and she let her mind wander as she watched the coloured lights from the Christmas tree diffuse and blend together through half-open eyelashes.

This time next year, they would have a baby. She and Steve would have a child, who would be too young to understand most of the holiday, but would still watch the lights with wide-eyed wonder.

She would be a mother. Steve would be a father. They would be parents. Their lives would be turned completely upside down, no matter what was happening in their professional lives.

She rested her head on Steve’s shoulder, and he ruffled her hair, listening intently to a long story Dugan was telling about a recent mission with the Howling Commandos. She yawned and let her eyes droop shut.

She really did want this. She wanted a child – children, really, because having a brother had meant so much to her – and she wanted that life they’d talked about so much during the war. She just … also wanted to be the Director of SHIELD, and it seemed entirely unfair that she lived in a world where it just didn’t seem likely that she could have both at once.

“Dugan’s story putting you to sleep, Peg?” asked Howard.

“I’m awake,” she said blinking her eyes open with effort.

Howard grinned. “You were snoring. And drooling.”

“I do not drool,” she said with dignity.

“Notice how she doesn’t deny the snoring,” said Howard. “Too many witnesses during the war.”

“I’ve seen her drool lots of times,” volunteered Dugan, helpfully.

“Don’t forget I’ve seen you asleep too,” Peggy reminded him. “I hesitate to mention the flatulence, but I will if necessary.” He grinned at her, and she yawned again. It really was ridiculously hard to stay awake.

Steve came to her rescue by leaning over and kissing her in a way he rarely did in public, a deep, thorough kiss that quickened her breath despite her sleepiness, and drew a small, involuntary noise from her throat. “Well, I’m always happy to sleep with you, Peggy.”

Howard and Dugan made various disgusted noises, while Phillips gave them his most put-upon look. “Hey, we’re off duty, right?” said Steve, and winked at Peggy. “Speaking of which,” he stood up and pulled her along with him. “I think we’ll head even further off duty to somewhere a bit more private. See you all tomorrow.”

Once in the corridor, Peggy yawned hugely. “Thank you.”

He shrugged. “Apparently we have a reputation.”

She sighed. “It’s rather undeserved lately.”

“That’s okay,” he said, taking her hand. “it’s temporary.”

“I hope so,” she muttered. She’d heard discouraging things about what having children could do to one’s love life.

“You talked to the Jarvises?” he asked after a moment, as they turned into the corridor that held the bedroom they'd been assigned, still hand in hand.

She sniffed. “Yes, and they were lovely about it."

He squeezed her hand. “I told you they would be. They love you, Peggy. And I don’t think they mind me so much either.”

She nodded. “I know. But it isn’t fair." She could hear the frustration in her own voice. "None of this is fair.”

They reached their room and he opened the door. “Peggy,” he said, tentatively, “Can we talk? I just think –”

She shook her head, cutting him off. “Later. I am far too tired to talk just now.”

She began to undress in silence, and after a moment, he did too. She slipped into the nightgown that had been left for her – Ana’s, probably – and visited the bathroom. Then she got into bed, still in silence. Steve went into the bathroom once she was out, and after a while she thought she felt him sliding into the bed beside her, but she was already asleep enough that she couldn’t be entirely sure.

****

Peggy awoke feeling only mildly queasy, which could only mean that it wasn’t morning yet. She craned her neck and checked the bedside clock. It was just after midnight, and she could hear Steve’s steady breathing beside her. She should eat something. If she ate something, she’d probably be able to get up and use the bathroom without making the nausea worse. Good Lord, being pregnant was complicated and exhausting.

“How are you doing?” Steve asked, and she jumped a little.

“I think if I lie still and eat something I’ll be fine.” She reached over to the bedside table and came up with a cracker and some cheese. “I hate getting crumbs in the bed,” she sighed, eating and then considering for a moment. “All right,” she said. “I’ll be right back.”

“You OK?” asked Steve, as she crossed the room to the bathroom.

“Yes, fine,” she said. “I don’t understand how the baby could possibly have such an enormous effect on my bladder at this point, but apparently it’s perfectly normal.”

When she got back to bed, Steve had turned on the bedside lamp and was propped up on one elbow. “Are _you_ all right?” she asked, sliding back into the bed and propping her head up on her own elbow, facing him.

He shrugged. “I just thought that since you’re not sick and we’re both awake, it might be a good time to talk.”

She sighed. “I know this isn't how either of us imagined it would be. It’s just that I've been feeling so terrible, and then –” her voice cracked slightly, “there’s SHIELD.”

He pulled her into his arms and she rested her head on his chest. “It’s not that I don’t want the baby,” she said, after a long silence. “I do. I want us to have that family we talked about during the war. I just wasn’t expecting to have it right _now_ , just when…”

“I know,” he said, rubbing the back of her neck. “But… now is when it’s happening, and I think maybe you’re being too pessimistic about SHIELD.”

She sighed. “It would be different if it was you. But I had to prove myself so many times, over and over, to get into this position at all. And now, in an instant, all of that will be gone. Even if they accept that I want to keep working after the baby is born, a pregnant woman is going to be instantly classified as fragile and in need of protection. Overly emotional. Not somebody to trust with the running of a major international spy agency.”

“Didn’t you already squash that argument back in the war when that one general was hung up about your monthly cycle?”

“That was nothing compared to what’s going to happen now. And the worst thing is, they’re not entirely wrong. I _am_ overly emotional at the moment, I spend far too much of my day hanging over the toilet, and I can’t stay awake. How on earth am I going to work long hours building SHIELD when I can’t even get through a dinner party at Howard’s?”

He kissed her hair. “That’s all temporary. You’ll feel better sooner than you think, and then everything else will be easier too. Give it another month.”

She gave a shaky laugh. “Let me guess, you learned that from the chorus girls too.”

He grinned. “Let’s just say I learned a lot by shutting up and listening to them talk amongst themselves. After a while I think they kind of forgot I was there.”

She laughed again, and leaned back on her pillow. “But that’s not going to help me convince everyone I’m still the best person to direct SHIELD,” she said, after a moment. “I might feel better by then, but then I’ll start _looking_ pregnant, and that might be even worse.”

“Phillips and Howard know you. They’ll go to bat for you. You have to believe that.” He brushed a stray hair off her forehead. “And, Peggy, what would you tell me if it was me? To just give up without a fight? No, you’d tell me to steal a goddamn plane if I had to. In fact, you did.” He leaned over her. “I know you’re not feeling well, but normally you’d never back down from this sort of thing.”

She blinked. He had a good point. “You’re still the best person for the job, and there are a lot of people that know it. I think you should talk to Phillips. Tell him what’s going on so he can prepare.”

“You’re right,” she said after a moment. “I’ll talk to him tomorrow.”

“That’s my girl,” he said, kissing her. “I knew you were in there somewhere.”

They smiled at each other and she suddenly felt a little like they’d just been victorious in battle. He was certainly looking at her the way he always did at such moments, eyes dark, lips slightly parted. She drew in a sudden breath and the low-level restlessness she’d been feeling for days flared up into something else entirely.

“And as for just now,” she said slowly, reaching forward and trailing one slow finger down his chest, “I am, as you said, wide awake. And I believe we have a reputation to uphold.”

He looked slightly wary. “But are you going to be able to _stay_ awake?”

“I promise you, I am not going to fall asleep this time,” she said. “Nor do I feel particularly queasy. It’s a Christmas miracle. We shouldn’t waste it.”

“Okay,” he whispered, and leaned in to kiss her, sliding his tongue into her mouth. Electricity danced through her jaw to her spine, and from there throughout her entire body. She moaned and reached into his pajama bottoms, wrapping her hand around him. He was already hard.

He half gasped and half chuckled. “Is that your new move? You just grab?”

“I am nothing if not efficient,” she breathed, wriggling impatiently as he trailed one hand down the side seam of her nightgown, leaving a shimmering trail of tiny sparks in his wake. When he finally reached her centre, she had to clamp her free hand over her mouth to muffle the involuntary cry she made as her hips thrust up to meet his hand.

He was making a decent amount of noise himself, and she vaguely hoped that Howard hadn’t been joking about the soundproofing.

They were both more than ready, and her grip on Steve faltered as her world narrowed to the slide of his hand inside her, her hips rolling against his thumb, her breath coming in panting gasps. For a long breathless moment flame flickered like a fuse, and then everything exploded and she was carried away.

He waited while her breath slowed and her focus returned. “I’m still awake,” she assured him, tiny aftershocks still coursing through her body. The friction of his hand as he withdrew it made her hips jump, and she squirmed a little.

“Good,” rumbled Steve. He stroked her again and she pressed up against him with a little whimper.

“Wait,” she said, and slid her hands into the sides of her underwear, pulling it down and leaving it somewhere by her feet under the covers. She tugged his down as well, and threw her left leg over his hips, both of them gasping in a sudden breath as their naked skin made contact.

“Wait,” he said, “We don’t have a – ”

She fixed him with a slightly disbelieving glance. “Darling, that horse is already out of the barn.”

“Oh, right,” he gasped. Their hips were already rocking together, and she wrapped her fingers around him again and guided him inside her. After a breathless moment he started to move, and she leaned back a little, giving his fingers better access, her heel digging into the small of his back. They were both making far more noise than was really polite as houseguests.

Intense pleasure built up again very quickly, and she was almost at the edge when Steve groaned and stilled. A few more more brushes of his fingers and she followed, her release crashing over her as she thoroughly tested Howard’s soundproofing.  They flopped back onto the bed side by side, panting, his hand still resting on her lower belly.

Neither of them spoke for quite a while. Then Steve gently rubbed her belly. “That doesn't bother the baby, does it?” he asked, sounding suddenly concerned.

She shook her head and covered his hand with hers. “No, the doctor said it’s fine.”

“You asked the doctor?”

Peggy snorted at the look on his face. “Steve, I think the doctor knows we do this. It’s rather how I got into this condition in the first place.”

“That’s not what I..,” he trailed off, and she laughed again and kissed his shoulder.

“Actually,” she said, “The doctor brought it up all on his own. Apparently it’s a common question.” She yawned, poking around with her feet. “Speaking of questions, can you find my knickers? I’ll be right back.”

“He raised an inquiring eyebrow and she sighed. “Just making one of my extremely regular trips to the loo.” She swung her feet to the floor.

When she got back, Steve had found her underwear. She slid it on and slipped back under the covers, curling up with her back pressed against him, one of his arms around her waist, hand splayed over her belly. Over the baby, she thought with a smile as she drifted off into sleep.

******

When Peggy woke up again, it was morning and she was drowning in choppy waves of nausea. She opened her eyes and groaned. From the light coming in at the window, she thought the snow must have stopped, but there was a cool, blue feel that made her think it was still very cold out.

“How are you feeling?” asked Steve.

“Just leave me a clear path to the loo,” she said, without really moving her mouth.

She rolled herself out of bed and staggered to the bathroom, to lose what felt like everything she’d eaten in the past three days. Afterwards she rested her forehead on the cool toilet seat and groaned.

Steve was behind her, a hand on her back. “Well,” he said, in a tone of forced cheerfulness, “at least the room is soundproof!”

She kicked him, instantly regretting the sudden movement as she leaned over the toilet again, gagging.

Neither of them spoke for some time after that, Peggy sitting in a miserable heap on the bathroom floor, Steve rubbing her back. Finally she flushed the toilet, stood up, and went to the sink to rinse her mouth out. She glared at the toothbrush, hoping Howard’s toothpaste wouldn’t trigger her gag reflex. “This is all extremely unpleasant,” she said.

“You don’t say.” said Steve.

She glared at him too. He was never sick, although she supposed he’d been sick often enough in his pre-serum days to make up for it. The real problem was that _she_ was never sick, and her usual method of ignoring any minor ailments was not standing her in good stead in her current circumstances.

She managed to brush her teeth and get back to bed without further incident. “Do we have any more crackers?” she asked without opening her eyes.

“A few,” he said, handing them to her. She ate one and instantly regretted it, dashing back to the bathroom to start the whole process over again.

“Bloody Nora!” she fumed, climbing back into bed for the second time. “I truly don’t understand why everybody isn’t an only child.”

Steve tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “I know it’s awful right now, but it will get better. And at the end of it we get a baby, Peg.”

She sighed. “Yes, but right now I need to get to this morning’s SHIELD meeting to tell Phillips about said baby without being sick on his shoes first.”

Steve stood up. “I’ll go get you some toast,” he said.

She closed her eyes and concentrated very hard on not throwing up again.

By the time he returned with a plateful of toast, though, she had dozed off again and woke up feeling well enough to eat a little toast and get dressed in yesterday’s slightly wrinkled clothes. She pulled her hair into a simple knot and applied her makeup, regarding herself critically in the mirror. She looked terrible, but at least she seemed to be over the worst of this morning’s nausea.

“Ready to beard the dragon?” asked Steve.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” she said, and they set out toward Howard’s office, Steve a comforting presence at her side as he was whenever they set off to battle together.

They were a little late, but not inordinately so. The others had waited for them, and Phillips gestured towards the two open seats as they came through the door.

Peggy cleared her throat as she sat down. “Before we begin, sir, I have some new information to bring to your attention.” she began. “A bit of a complication.”

Phillips sighed and fixed her with a look. “You’re pregnant, aren’t you, Carter?”

Howard looked startled. A slow smile spread across Dugan’s face, and Peggy felt all eyes on her. She swallowed and nodded. “How did you know, sir?” she asked.

“Contrary to what you seem to believe, I am not totally unobservant.” He smiled, his face softening. “Congratulations, both of you.”

“Thank you,” said Peggy, and Steve nodded, a little pink in the face, possibly at the fact that Phillips now had incontrovertible evidence of what he’d been up to with Agent Carter.

Phillips grinned. “May the kid give the two of you just as much trouble as you’ve given me.” He shook his head. “Looks like he or she is already giving you some trouble, Carter. You look like hell.”

Peggy blinked again. “Uh, thank you, sir.”

“Now,” said Phillips, looking her directly in the eye, “I don’t think this has to change anything, unless you want it to.”

She shook her head, her heart racing suddenly.

“Didn’t think so,” he said. “So, you’ll have to take some time off to actually have the baby, but we’ve still got time before we have to deal with that. How far along are you?”

“The baby is due at the beginning of August,” she said slowly. It felt strange to say the words out loud.

He nodded. “Lots of time." He looked around the room at the others. "For now, we keep everything quiet. Get everything started and settled before she starts showing, and don’t make any announcements even then." He looked back at Peggy. "You’re out of the field for now, of course, but Director's pretty much a desk job anyway.”

She looked down at her lap. She hated admitting weakness. “I don’t think I can work long hours just now,” she said, forcing the words out. “I can barely stay awake, and I’ve… not been keeping food down very well.”

Phillips waved his hand dismissively. “Temporary. You’ll feel better soon.  We’ll put a couch in your office and a lock on your door.”

“And airsick bags in the desk drawer,” added Howard.

“That’s actually not a bad idea,” said Steve, feelingly.

Peggy wiped at a sudden tear. She should have realized that Phillips would have her back, but her experiences in the rest of the SSR since the war had made her doubt it. “Thank you, sir,” she sniffed.

“Good Lord, Carter, don’t _cry_!” barked Phillips, looking alarmed.

“Wow, she really is pregnant!” said Howard, in fascination.

Peggy blew her nose. “Shut up, Howard.”

“That’s my girl!” he said encouragingly. She narrowed her eyes at him as he grinned and stood up, reaching over to shake Steve’s hand and congratulate him. He turned to Peggy. “You’re not going to upchuck on me if I hug you, are you?”

“Probably not,” she said. “But I give no guarantees.”

“I’ll risk it,” he decided. “Stand up, Peg.” She did, and he enveloped her in a bear hug. “Congratulations, pal,” he whispered in her ear, and then he released her and Dugan was hugging her, then grinning hugely and clapping Steve on the shoulder.

She met Phillips’ eye. “I’m not going to hug you,” he said, grinning.

“That’s fine, sir,” she said, still a little teary-eyed.

For the first time, she thought about the baby without the looming prospect of losing the directorship of SHIELD, and felt a swelling happiness deep in her chest.

Everything was changing, but the future was looking pretty good.

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> In case you are wondering why a frog laying eggs means Peggy is pregnant, I present the [Hogben test](http://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/doctors-used-to-use-live-african-frogs-as-pregnancy-tests-64279275/).


End file.
